The Collingtree Crusaders are a renound and formidable Sunday opposition. They play with a fiery determination and have a stand offish attitude that somehow manages to put their opponents on the back foot from the word go, a level of friendliness and welcoming that entices you in to their world before defiantly snubbing you at every turn.

Their skipper typifies this demeanour. He is a true English country gentleman and as a cricketer he wouldn't have looked out of place in the cricket match that takes place in the famous novel "The Go Between", slotting in easily amongst the toffs XI as they go about their match up against the peasants. Turning up late with a chunky cigar protruding from his pursed lips adorning his tanned visage popping out from his upturned collar, he promptly won the toss against the hapless P Kirby and inserted the Spearheads, today taking on the role of "The Go Between" peasants, onto the artificial track at the Collingtree Parish Community Playing Field.

In the background was not a lazy, hazy late summers afternoon with the gentle rustling of corn in the fields and hearty laughter of the spectators providing the soundtrack as penned by L.P Hartley in his heart rendering story of unrequited love and class division, instead we had the remnants of Hurricane Ivan removing trees from their roots and the whimper of scared women, children and animals as they cowered from the fearsome weather and even fearsome Crusader's opening bowling attack.

Swords and Silk were the first lambs to the slaughter, Silk thumbing one behind for a zero score and Swords scratched around for 11 before also thumbing one to the obliging wicketkeeper for 11. Shoulders Webb, so often the driving force behind a Spearheads total looked slightly disgruntled at the poor weather and decided to return to the pavillion after amassing a run to his name.

These early departures turned out to be a blessing in disguise as the senior pro's of this Spearheads outfit, Driver and Sir Sumner were forced together at the crease. Sumner had already begun his work, deflecting, cutting and sweeping all comers and he seemed delirious at DoC's arrival as he propelled himself to another level of batting, introducing lashing straight drives to his 360 degree coverage of shot making complete.

Driver, a big fan of the Crusader's pitch eased into his routine and as confidence returned to this once great batsman so did his once greatness. Pulling off his nose a la Botham, hoiking to cow corner a la Brewin and sprinting between the wickets a la a snail, Driver was looking awesome.

Sumner and Driver both reached well deserved fifties alas Driver could not add to his half century and was comprehensively skittled for a nice round, plump 50.

Sumner continued on his merry way, briefly partnered by Sweet Cheeks who whipped the opening bowler through mid wicket for 4 before snapping his bat clean in half, getting a new one then getting bowled, and then James Brewin.

Brewin, well known to the Crusaders thanks to previous years big slappings into golf courses, started as he always seemingly does, with a short armed jab for 4 and then added a few more sixes to his seasons impressive total before he holed out for a nicely made cameo of 28.

Under pressure skipper Peter Kirby was summoned to the crease, Sir Al still propping up the other end like Del Boy and Trigger propping up the bar in that famous comedy scene prior to embarrassing catastrophe, would a similar fate befall Sumner?

Kirby stroked a nice 4 and scrambled a single before breaking Law 32.1 of cricket: "The striker is out Caught if a ball delivered by the bowler, not being a No ball, touches his bat without having previously been in contact with any member of the fielding side and is subsequently held by a fielder as a fair catch before it touches the ground."

Aaron Randall was next to the crease with Sir Sumner desperately close to reaching an impressive full century still smashing bowlers to all parts at the other end. Hurricane Ivan now decided to introduce some rain to the equation as 35 overs neared. Alas time ran out for Sumner to reach 3 figures but Randall did his team proud with a gritty 2 no at the other end. Sumner received a standing ovation from the Spearhead faithful as the cricketers on the pitch sprinted into the calmness of the clubhouse for the tea interval.

With 213 on the board to defend, Huncote took to the field in good spirits. A Crossley Crossley opening bowling attack was announced but although bowling well, neither managed to snare a victim. Brian Driver, fresh from his batting exploits now had ball in hand and a glare in his eye. Steaming in with the wind in his hair he could easily have been mistaken for a young Imran Khan, the wickets he picked up backed up this scurrilous image.

The Spearheads own Shane Warne, Jason Scrimshire propelled himself into the attack and bowled nicely, picking up another wicket to add to his mammoth season Spearhead total and Huncote were sitting proudly in the pound seats, supping on port and munching on cheese and biscuits. Then, as the action seemed calm and peaceful and a victory was within reach for the Spearheads, Kirby introduced a twin spin attack. Himself into the wind and Swords with the wind assisting him. Crossley Snr spat his port from his mouth and slammed his cheese to the ground as first Kirby, then Swords and THEN Brewin and THEN Randall, but especially Swords and Kirby, got spanked to all parts conceding far too many runs and removing themselves sheepishly from the pound seats they adored so much and in came the 2 Crusader's batsman to take up the now pre-warmed positions.

I Crossley, now steaming with rage and also a bit hungry and thirsty after his port/cheese/disgruntlement incident, returned to the attack and was tight and efficient showing the young idiots how it is done and no doubt chuntering to himself similar sentiments. Even his son, keeping the stumps, G Crossley received a verbal duffing up after spilling a chance off his old pa's chucking. What a day.

Needless to say the Crusader's stumbled home and the Spearheads left the Parish Community Playing fields with their tails between thier legs and retired to the pub to talk about............................................................................the tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who cares about the Spearheads......bring on the Mallorca Madmen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Man of the Match- Alan Sommer

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